


Caramel Macchiatos and Cute Boys

by yellowlampshade



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista Phil, Coffee Shops, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Oblivious Phil, Pining Phil, Sexual Fantasy, people being mean to phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8739157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowlampshade/pseuds/yellowlampshade
Summary: Phil hated his stupid fucking job. And he wasn’t the type to throw around that kind of language lightly. His co-workers talk about him behind his back, give him the worst chores and hours, and are just generally the worst. The only thing that makes it manageable is the cute boy who come in occasionally and definitely does not like him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> what if instead of writing sequels like i promised, what if i wrote a plot intensive chaptered self indulgent coffee shop au?

Phil hated his stupid fucking job. And he wasn’t the type to throw around that kind of language lightly.

It wasn’t even the work that was the problem. Being a barista is a pretty romanticized profession, but it mostly lived up to his expectations. The coffee and sweets smelled good, the pay was pretty reasonable, the building was cute, and he got to have as many caramel macchiatos as he wanted. No issues there. The real problem were his co workers.

For a while, it had just been that they ignored him. All of them were friends, and he didn’t fit in. He was quiet and awkward and nerdy and they were all pretty and cool and confident. So they didn’t talk to him. It wasn’t that bad - uncomfortable, sure, but bearable. Then it got worse. He could hear them laughing at him behind his back, talking about him like he wasn’t even there. They made sure he got the worst chores, dealt with the worst customers, and blamed him for every mistake so the manager would shout at him.

It was so awful that he had panic attacks before going in. It made him so miserable that he cried about it, which before recently had been a very rare occurrence. He wanted so badly to quit, but it turns out that it’s pretty hard to get a job in Manchester with his work experience, so he didn’t leave.

So yeah. He hated his stupid fucking job.

On one Monday, Phil was working a shift that started at an entirely unreasonable hour. Chase and Denise were also in, making coffee and bringing it to customers while Phil worked cash (he liked to think this was because neither of them could do math). A couple of their regulars came in, as well as a smattering of people Phil didn’t recognize. Overall, not a super busy morning for him, leaving plenty of time to awkwardly clean things and pretend he couldn’t hear his lovely colleagues talking about him.

“I’ll take a large double espresso with whipped cream. Actually make that a triple. Please,” said a voice, interrupting his thoughts.

Phil looked up from the counter he was wiping down (for the eighth time).

“Morning classes are a bitch. How much is that?” said the owner of the voice, pulling out his wallet.

God, he was gorgeous. Tall and lean with hair the same colour as the coffee he had just ordered and carrying a backpack for said morning class - probably at University of Manchester, judging from his hoodie.

“Oh, uh. Um, four-twenty-five. Er, please,” Phil said, demonstrating the answer to his family’s questions of why he didn’t have a boyfriend.

The pretty boy paid with a five, and Phil awkwardly fumbled with his cash register, forcing himself to look away from the angel in front of him.

“Thanks,” said the boy, taking his change. Phil pulled out the proper size cup and a marker.

“Erm, sorry, what’s your name?” Phil asked.

The pretty boy smiled. “It’s Dan.” They both stood there awkwardly for a moment before Dan pointed towards a nearby table. “I’m just gonna…” he trailed off, walking over to to the table and sitting down. Phil was still staring as Denise snatched the cup from him, glaring.

Another customer came to the counter. Phil served them, while occasionally stealing a glance over to Dan, who was typing something on his phone. Dan. He really was gorgeous. Phil wondered what would happen if he talked to him. Introduced himself, started chatting, flirted a bit, asked him if he wanted to go for dinner sometime. He imagined what it would be like - taking Dan out on a date. He’d be nervous as hell, but maybe Dan would be too, maybe they’d have a lot in common, maybe Dan would ask shyly if they’d maybe want to go out again sometime -

“Oh, Chase, don’t bother taking out the one to the hot boy in the corner. I wanna give him my number anyway.”

\- And then Phil felt his little fantasy crumbling beneath him. Dan was probably straight, or not single, or not single and straight, and even if he wasn’t, he’d never go for someone like Phil. The boy was way out of his league. He should stop being such an idiot.

He cleaned the counter again as he watched Denise bring Dan his coffee, giggling and twisting her hair. Blatant flirtation. Dan smiled politely, and she wrote her number on a napkin on his table. Denise was pretty, Phil guessed - she had nice blonde hair that wasn’t styled in a way that hadn’t been cool for years, her skin didn’t look like it had spent its entire life in a dark basement, and she didn’t stumble over her words when she talked to a pretty boy. Maybe she and Dan would go on a date just like he had imagined he and Dan would, maybe they would become a couple, maybe he’d have to watch them being all cute together, holding hands and kissing, being something to each other in a way that Phil would never experience. Which he knew was completely overdramatic, but also probably completely true.

Well, there was his day ruined.

Dan rushed out of the shop after that, carrying his backpack and coffee. Phil’s day went back to the usual - being ignored, being complained about from five feet away, being asked to clean the toilets and clear the most disgusting tables, getting a shorter break than he was supposed to, and working unrecorded overtime hours. In other words, it was pretty shitty.

When he got back home, he forced himself not to think about the beautiful boy from that morning. Instead, he distracted himself with Chinese takeout and an incopious amount of Doctor Who. Over the next couple days, he was able to mostly forget about Dan, who had apparently not called Denise - Phil allowed himself to feel slightly smug about that, before going back to not thinking about him.

Three days later, Dan returned to the coffee shop.

Phil wasn’t sure why this surprised him. Lots of people came to coffee shops on more than one occasion. Dan probably wouldn’t even recognise him - hell, he might even be coming back to see Denise. The thing was that Phil hadn’t left room in his recovering regime for planning what to do if he saw Dan again. Which was stupid, anyways, because why would he have to get over a guy that he had met once? If he took a week to recover every time he saw an attractive boy then he’d spend his whole life moping around.

Anyways, it was a Saturday morning at a much more reasonable hour when Dan came back. The door swung open and there he was, with perfectly styled hair and tight jeans showing off the slight curve to his hips, both of which Phil pointedly did not notice. Dan’s (large and adorably brown) eyes searched around the cafe for a moment before finding Phil, making him grin for some reason.

“Hi!” Dan said enthusiastically.

“Uh, hi,” Phil said intelligently.

Silence. Dan seemed to lose some of his confidence.

“I, uh. Was in the other day.” he added.

“Yeah, I remember,” Phil said, then immediately cursed himself for sounding creepy. He could feel his co worker Jennifer staring at him. He tried to recover. “Erm, large triple espresso with whipped cream?”

Dan laughed, not appearing to be completely weirded out yet. “Nah, I’m not quite that desperately tired. What do you recommend?” he asked. Dan was still grinning and God, he looked so gorgeous like that, with his cute little dimple poking out. Phil felt overwhelmed.

“Oh, er. I don’t know.” Phil said, showing off his quick wit and charm. Dan seemed to not notice the blatant awkwardness.

“What do you usually have?”

“I, uh. I usually have a caramel macchiato, I guess.”

“I’ll have one of those then,” Dan responded, paying for the drink. Phil wrote on the cup - Dan seemed to like that he remembered his name - and got him his change.

“Thanks, er -” Dan glanced down at his name tag. “Phil.” Phil decided that the person that had invented his name had meant for it to be said in Dan’s voice. He wondered idly what it would sound like whispered into his ear, how Dan’s voice would colour it as he gasped it out.

Wait, what?

Phil firmly told himself to stop. It felt wrong, using someone in his mind like that, especially someone that he had no chance with. It would only make things worse.

Phil shook his head and hoped to God that he wasn’t blushing. “You’re welcome, Dan.” The boy sat down at the nearest possible table as Phil handed the cup to Jennifer.

This time, Dan didn’t rush away, instead staying and drinking his coffee slowly, quickly turning to his phone whenever Phil looked at him. After about half an hour he finally got up, making sure to say goodbye to Phil before leaving.

It must’ve been a good caramel macchiato, because Dan became a regular customer after that.Their average conversation time remained about the same, although it sometimes seemed like Dan was trying to drag it out longer. But Phil never knew what to say, and besides, there was always a bathroom to clean or an unpleasant customer to deal with, or some other rigged-short-straw chore. He told himself that this was a good thing - he’d just mess things up if he was allowed to talk to Dan for any longer.

Since Dan was coming into the shop so much, Phil couldn’t exactly keep up his rule of not thinking about him. In fact, every time he went into work, he found himself hoping that Dan would be there. The happy grin that Dan flashed whenever he saw him only served to egg Phil on. He often had to remind himself that Dan was just being friendly.

Phil got home from work one day feeling slightly… antsy. Unfocused. He tried reading the Stephen King novel that he had started, but couldn’t seem to focus on it. Even Buffy couldn’t seem to hold his attention, which was highly unusual. What was so distracting to him? It took him about five seconds to figure out. He had been a bit preoccupied recently, and he hadn’t exactly… dear God, he was alone and still blushed as he admitted to himself that he hadn’t jerked off in a couple days, and he was really goddamn horny because of it.

Phil went with his laptop to his bedroom, because even though he had no roommate it still felt weird doing _that_ right in his living room. Closing his door behind him and sitting on his bed, he opened his laptop and guiltily opened the porn he had bookmarked on his laptop. The page opened to a video of two men kissing, one moaning ridiculously loudly as the other undressed him. Phil palmed himself through his trousers, feeling himself grow hard. The taller man pulled out lube and began fingering the other, who was pleading for more.

It was hot, and Phil was turned on, yeah, but not feeling particularly inspired. He guessed that he must be in one of those moods where porn didn’t really do it for him. He closed the offending tabs and shut his laptop. Since he had never had a boyfriend before, he couldn’t just get off to a memory, so he instead tried to decide on a fantasy.

He thought about kissing a pretty boy, eliciting cute little moans. He thought about touching a pretty boy until he begged. He thought about being inside a pretty boy, making love to him, making him lose his mind in pleasure. And weirdly, he thought about the first day Dan had come into the coffee shop and what he had fantasized about that day. About taking Dan out for dinner, chatting and flirting, and Dan asking if they could go out again sometime. But now, with no Denise to snap him out of it, he kept going.

He imagined the two of them going out again and again, becoming boyfriends. He imagined asking one night if Dan wanted to come back to his apartment with him. He imagined kissing Dan, on his mouth and then all over, finding the spots that made him gasp out _Phil, Phil, please touch me, I need you_ . Begging for him. Fuck, he was so hard. He imagined Dan with his pretty little lips wrapped around his cock, licking and sucking and swallowing, taking him deep in his throat. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Phil quickly pulled off his pants, wrapping a hand around himself. He imagined fucking Dan, how perfect his little body would feel around his cock, how pretty he would look all spread out for him, how he would whimper and moan and plead _Harder, Phil, please, I want you so much_ . This wasn’t right, this couldn’t be right. He needed to stop, he needed to stop touching himself, stop thinking of Dan like this. But then he imagined Dan riding him, bouncing up and down, letting out little _Ah, ah, ah_ ’s as he fucked himself as fast as he could and he couldn’t stop because he wanted it. God, with every fibre of his being, he wanted it. Wanted to have Dan like that, have him be his and his only. He imagined that Dan wanted all of this too, wanted to be his, wanted Phil to do all those filthy things to him, and then he was coming, coming hard all over his chest, mind full of thoughts of the pretty boy from the coffee shop.

It took a minute to recover from the post orgasmic bliss. Then -

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t fair to Dan, and it only made things hurt more. He wanted Dan so much, and not just to kiss and make love to. He wanted to cuddle with him and fall asleep next to him and make him breakfast in the morning. He wanted to comfort him when he was sad, to make him laugh just to see his cute dimple, introduce him to his family and hold his hand under the table at dinner. He wanted Dan so much he ached from it. And it fucking sucked, because Dan wasn’t his. Dan wasn’t his anything. Hell, he didn’t even know anything about him. Dan was just a pretty boy that he sold coffee to occasionally. Nothing more.

 

**********

 

Phil acted even more awkward than usual the next time Dan came in. Part of him was paranoid that he would somehow know what he had done, but of course, Dan acted the same as usual, chatting and being friendly. After a while, Phil got to a point where he could get through a full sentence without stuttering. In his alone time, he controlled himself, not allowing his thoughts to go anywhere near where they had been that day. Things slowly returned to what had become a normal for him. Dan was once again just a person that he knew.

On a Wednesday morning, the shop was extremely busy. Chase and Jennifer kept yelling for him to go faster, even though he was going fast enough and regardless, yelling was an unnecessary and mean course of action. When Dan got to the front of the line, it took Phil a second to process who it was and transition from his Hi-What-Can-I-Get-For-You-Today voice to his Oh-Hey-You voice.

“Wow, pretty crowded today,” Dan commented.

Phil laughed. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

An annoyed voice from behind him screeched “LESTER!”, making Phil flinch and Dan look confused and a little offended. The conversation ended soon after that, Dan ordering his caffeine-heavy coffee and leaving.

Dan was back on Saturday at around noon, ordering a muffin for breakfast, along with his standard caramel macchiato.

Phil raised his eyebrows incredulously. “Breakfast?”

Dan snorted. “Only losers and people with morning jobs wake up before eleven,” he explained, pretending to be serious by fixing imaginary glasses. It was ridiculously goofy and adorable. Phil grinned and laughed, only wondering after Dan had left which category he qualified as.

On a different Wednesday at four pm, Dan came in with a pretty blonde girl that was presumably his girlfriend because Dan was too gorgeous to be single and probably straight because God liked to punish Phil. They came up to the counter and Dan introduced her as “his friend Louise” before ordering his regular. “Louise” ordered an intensive adjective-y beverage (which he made her repeated three times before he got it right), giggling through the entire conversation for some reason. When they got to their table, Louise whispered something and Dan blushed and told her to shut up, to which she launched into an anecdote of a really sweet date she had gone on last night. A date with someone who was decidedly not Dan, which made Phil happier than it should have.

Louise thanked Phil by name when he brought out their drinks, which was odd he hadn’t introduced himself and his name tag was lost somewhere. He frowned, hoping Dan hadn’t said anything bad about him. It’d be disappointing if it turned out that Dan was just the same as the rest of them.

On a Tuesday, Phil worked a double and could hear the sweet call of the void by the end of the day. Jennifer wouldn’t give him a freaking break, completely flipping out over any little mistake he made. It was five minutes until closing and Phil had given up all hope of seeing Dan that day when, sure enough, the door swung open and there was Dan, looking like he had just done a marathon.

“Sorry, am I too late?” he asked, panting.

“Er, no, it’s fine, we’re still open,” Phil responded, a bit taken aback by Dan’s sudden appearance.

Dan grinned. “Thank God. I thought for a minute that I had done goddamn cardio for nothing.” Phil smiled back at him, not bothering to hide his joy that Dan had run across the campus to see him.

No, stop it. It wasn’t to fucking see him, it was to get a fucking coffee, and he should stop thinking that way.

Dan payed for his usual and sat down at his usual spot as Phil made it, mostly tuning out Jennifer’s whisper yelling of _why did you tell him it was fine_ and _why do you keep doing this sort of thing do you want to keep me late_ and _you better stop fucking up like this or else._ When Phil brought out the macchiato Dan was frowning, making him wonder what he did wrong.

“I didn’t mean to get you in trouble,” he said guiltily.

Phil was a little embarrassed that Dan had noticed the condescending telling off he had received. “Oh, erm, it’s not really your fault. She would have found something to get mad at me for either way.” When Dan looked concerned and unconvinced he added, “Really, it’s fine. I’m glad I got to see you.” It was only after Dan had left that Phil wondered if the last bit had gone too far.

But clearly it wasn’t enough to drive Dan away, because he came back again and again. On a Sunday, Chase was working cash for some reason, so Phil resigned himself to losing his daily conversation. But after ordering, Dan waited along the counter, telling Phil about about a paper that he had to write for tomorrow and that’s the only reason he was having this much caffeine on a weekend. Phil wasn’t sure what the paper was about, making him realise that he didn’t even know what the other boy was in uni for. They’d never actually had an actual conversation, despite Dan being such a constant figure in his life. He wondered if they were friends at this point. He wondered this the next couple times, too - is this friends? Does the word “friends” imply some sort of in depth knowledge of each other?

After another week, Phil finally told someone else about Dan. Just casually in conversation, of course. His friend PJ briefly mentioned something about some pretty person in his film studies class, and then Phil said he didn’t really get to see many pretty people now that he wasn’t in uni and didn’t meet new people, apart from the cute boy that comes through the coffee shop from time to time. PJ didn’t ask anything, which was relieving as he’d have no idea what to add. It almost normalized it. Sometimes, people are attractive. It happens.

It was all normal, really. Dan occasionally came in, bought coffee, and looked pretty. He’d been coming in for about a month now. Phil was used to it.

On Friday, Dan came into the cafe before and after class. The afternoon appearance occurred when the shop was slow enough that Chase deemed it reasonable to take an extended break, meaning Phil got to interact with Dan for twice as long.

“I’m glad you like caramel macchiatos enough to come in this often,” Phil joked.

Dan grinned. “Nah. I’ve just been hoping you’d ask me out.”

Wait.

What.

Phil was frozen, trying desperately to process what the actual hell Dan had just said.

Dan’s face fell and he stood up awkwardly. “Sorry, I can leave and pretend I didn’t say that. If that’s what you want.”

Wait what no what is happening what Dan.

“No, wait. Erm. Would you want to. Uh. Gofordinnertommorowmaybe.” Phil sputtered out, his brain frantically going _quick quick fix it_ and _ohmygod Dan wants to go out with me_.

The grin returned to Dan’s face. “Took you long enough. Can I have your number?” He said, handing Phil his phone to enter it in.

Phil didn’t think his hands had ever shaken this much before.

 

********

He half expected it to be some cruel joke, although he wasn’t sure who would have arranged it. His co workers were the only ones who would potentially do something shitty like this, and he was pretty sure they didn’t know he was gay. But sure enough, when he got home, there was one new text from an unknown number.

                  D: _hey it’s me;) tomorrow at six fine?_

Shit, his heart was beating this fast just from a text message. He should call his doctor to let them know he’d be going into cardiac arrest at around six pm tomorrow.

                  P: _yeah:) any preferences?_

There. That sounds cool and casual and definitely like he’s not getting heart palpitations from that winky face.

Dan replied almost immediately, which negated all of his efforts to get his blood pressure under control.

                  D: _im unfortunately limited to places within walking distance of campus, i don’t have a car:(_

                  P: _i’ve got a car, d’you want me to pick u up?_

                  D: _awesome, wherever u want to go then. surprise me;)_

Phil lasted for about eight minutes before texting PJ _help going on a date tomorrow what do_.

PJ responded with eighteen lines of Lenny faces.

Phil should have known he would be alone in this.

 

********

 

Dan didn't come for coffee on Saturday morning, which was bad because it made the whole situation seem fake again, but good because Phil had no idea what to say to him. Oh God, what do they talk about during dinner? Phil was going to fail for sure.

He got off work after lunch, so naturally spent the next five hours preparing. After changing outfits six times, he finally decided on black skinny jeans (mostly because they reminded him of the ones Dan wore so often) and a short sleeve button up. There. Casual, yet still formal enough. He splashed on a bit of cologne, and straightened his hair again before missing it up a little, to hopefully give off some kind of sex hair vibe. Or something.

Oh, who was he kidding. He was a 22 year old man who had never gone on a proper date before, and that was going to become apparent within the first thirty seconds.

Dan’s residence building was as industrial and prison-like as Phil remembered his own being. Dan was waiting on the steps, jumping up enthusiastically when Phil pulled up, quickly climbing into his car.

“Hey,” said Dan.

“Hi.”

“I literally haven't left campus in about five weeks,” Dan announced.

“I'm glad you’re dating me for my car, then,” Phil said sarcastically.

Dan laughed. “Yeah, Phil, the last month’s worth of overpriced lattes were all just a ploy to finally leave this block.”

Phil could feel himself blushing because wasn't used to being flirted with, okay? He was glad to be driving, giving him a reason to not make eye contact.

“So, er,” Phil started, clearing his throat. “I don't even know what you’re in school for.”

“Oh,” Dan said, like he had completely forgotten that him and Phil had barely spoken. “Uh, law.”

“Cool,” Phil replied. He tried to imagine Dan as a lawyer. It didn't fit with the little information he knew about they boy.

“It's really not. I hate it.” Dan said flatly.

“Oh.”

Silence again.

“Why are you taking it then? If you hate it.” Phil asked.

Dan sighed. “Hell if I know.”

Phil was confused, but decided not to push it. He drove into the driveway of the restaurant.

“Did you go to Manchester?” Dan asked as they walked in.

“Yeah. For English and film. Just graduated last year,” he answered.

“Wow. What do you do with a degree in film?”

Phil laughed dryly. “Make overpriced coffee, apparently.”

“Hey, at least it's good overpriced coffee,” Dan interjected. “Still seems like a pretty shit job, though,” he said, pointedly. However, Phil couldn't tell what it was pointedly pointing at.

“Yeah, it makes me smell like coffee all the time,” Phil said, turning the end of it to sound like a question, because he wasn't sure what answer Dan was looking for.

“I don't know why that would be a downside. Coffee smells great,” Dan laughed.

“Thanks,” Phil said, pretty sure he had just been complimented.

A waitress came over and seated them before Dan continued.

“I just… your coworkers don't seem very nice.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

“I don't, like know them or anything, I just… like, noticed,” Dan added.

“Yeah. They, uh. Don't like me very much.”

Dan frowned. “Why not?”

Phil played with his sleeve, not meeting Dan’s eyes. “Dunno. I'm not a very likable person, I guess.”

Dan looked offended. “I like you.”

Phil blushed again. “Uh. Thanks.”

Dan giggled. “I unfortunately don't like you enough to continue buying five dollar coffee on a daily basis, so I'll have to find other excuses to see you.”

Phil turned more pink. “Yeah, I, uh. Think that could be arranged.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks 4 the attention hit me up on tumblr [yellowlampshade](http://yellow-lampshade.tumblr.com/)


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